Been Clean For 21 Days - NEED SUPPORT & Have a Few ?'s

TakinMYLIFEBack503 · #1 12-19-2009, 03:25 PM

Hello SRC
I am a 27 yr old Female - My "journey" with opiates started when I was 18 - I was prescribed opiates to control a chronic pain condition called Endometriosis; At first, being on opiates was the answer to the endless days I was spending just laying in bed in excruciating amounts of pain - I could do anything NOW, I was never educated on the long term effects of opiate use, I was young, uninformed & all I wanted was to get "better" and these little pills were the answer to it all.

It started with Vicodin, then to Oxycodone, then it got to a point where I was needing more of the medication to treat the daily pain & after about 6 months of having my OBGYN prescribing me these meds she sent me to a local pain clinic.

I visited the pain clinic for the first time on my 19th birthday - I was so hopeful & excited - after spending nights/days in the hospital & ER's, I was looking forward to the prospect of working with doctors who were trained in dealing with chronic pain & who would also provide me with ways of coping & dealing with the pain aside from just taking pain medication - Boy was I wrong about that.

I was assigned to one of the BEST pain doctors in the clinic, I mean this DR has patients who come from all over the states because his reputation is so good - I walked into his exam room, my vitals were taken along with my temperature by his nurse, she left & he came in - He was nice, compassionate & understanding to all that I had lost due to my pain - After him listening to my 30min sob story he asked me " So what pain meds work the best for you" - I walked out with scripts for Ms Contion, Oxycodone, Dilaudid & over the last 5 yrs I have at some point been on everything from Fentanyl to Morphine ( the only thing I have never been on is Oxycontin)

Again I was never educated, or so much given a slight warning on "what could happen" after being on these meds for a extended period of time & I do not want to place all the blame on the Dr's; Yes I could have done my own research & educated myself, but all I cared about was I was in pain & definitely not emotional sound at this point & these pills were going to take all that away and I would go back to living like any other 19yr old out there....

I am now 27 & my life couldn't be any further from what I had always hoped & dreamed it would be at this time in my life - of course over the years my dosing was just increased every time I voiced that I was having to take more medicine to get the same pain relief - within the last 6mnths I had resorted to getting pills from 3rd parties to get me through till my next fill, because of my increased usage I was of course running out of my prescription early & had to find other means to get me through, so I would not get dope sick. I never resorted to, "Street Drugs" only pharmaceuticals and never took them other than the "oral" route.

On Thanksgiving, I was driving home alone, of course, with just me, myself & my thoughts - I truly was 100% honest with myself, that this ALL had gotten out of control & that I needed to TAKE CONTROL & get off the opiates.

I called my Mom, spilled the beans on all that had been going on, told her everything & that I was going to do whatever it took to get off the pills, At this time I was on
- 90 Mgs of Ms Contin
- 60 Mgs of Oxycodone
( The above was what I was prescribed, but in all truth I was running through Month prescriptions in about a week & a half to two weeks, leaving me 2 weeks out till my next fill, this being when I was going through 3rd parties to carry me through till my next fill)

I was living my life from hour to hour, min to min, pill to pill - it was ridicules, everything in my life suffered, My Relationship (cant really believe he is still around), My career, My finances, My schooling, everything was effected and to be completely honest I FU,ed everything - I do not even think I have fully grasped the reality of the situation & how much "Correcting" I have to do once I am "well".

So now I am on day 21 without any opiates - I will not go into detail about the Cold Turkey Withdraw process (if you do want details, just let me know & I can post a new thread or private message about it), I will just say the first week, was hell & you have to have someone there to "watch" after you, cause my mind was so out of it & FU,ed, that if I didn't have my mom there I probably wouldn't have made it or even worst done something(unknowingly) to myself

Now to the whole point of this thread - My biggest issues now are not the physical withdrawal, as I think I am pretty much over that part of the process - but I am having problems with the "mental" part as well as I have NO ENERGY do anything, like I literally feel like passing out just walking up the 13 stairs from my downstairs to upstairs -

So MY QUESTION IS: Anyone who has been clean for sometime, How long did it take for you to feel like a "normal" person again? Is there anything I can do to increase my energy level & do you know of any good "alternative" ways to deal with the mental/depression side of getting clean.

I am also here for support - I think the worst part is the guilt that you feel after clearing the fog out & facing the reality of what you have done
I am finding it easier to withdraw instead of talking about it, so I hope my post will find someone, anyone who can understand what it is I am experiencing, Not that I would wish this horrible "truth" onto anyone.

I look forward to any and all replies, Sorry for such a long post, I just have a lot to get out of this head & heart of mine, they are weighing very heavily & some how I hope this will help
Thank You In Advance
TMLB503

Danzig · #2 12-31-2009, 06:13 PM

I don't know if any doctors would advise this because after a long period of using opiates your body is weak and it's not wise for everybody but it helped me.
take sweatshirt and sweatpants drink a lot of water because of dehidration and go jogging&running or if you have a stepper at home.the idea is to sweat out toxines and remain's of opiates out of your system, it's not easy when you are cold turkey but it will help you because after few hours of sweating your body will operate better and exhaustion will help you with sleeping.
That is maybe the only natural addiction, if you know somebody who wisit's gym on a daily bases, that person should know.i took that to a next level when i was in cold turkey period, i took ephedrine(it's the chem. substitute for amphetamine that body builders use for sweating,loosing apetite etc..) like a speed it raise your heart beat and tune you up but you will lose a gallon of body fluids through sweating in a matter of hours(again, drink a lot of water, and it's best 2 go through it with somebody who knows and use this stuff so there is extra energy for workout).take mineral's&vitamines every day.energy for every day will come when you start to moving and become active and bit by bit your body will get better,stronger,endurable and in the end "In Healthy Body Healthy Spirit". it's hard to start everything but as you progress it will become easier and easier and you will become capable for more and more.
physical crisis may take a few weeks but psychical will be present sometimes 6 month's to a year-year and a half.it's important to have a willpower and to find your passion and joy in other stuff.when you do that it will be easier and just like that one day you will find out that you have a certain feeling of dislike towards opiates, when you figure that out you are 100% drug free

best of luck
Daniel

FreeYourSelf · #3 01-17-2010, 04:56 PM

You need to put all your focus into nutrition. Vitamins and minerals and amino acids. Look at my previous posts I talk about amino acids and neurotransmitters, If you can get your neurotransmitters to proper levels you will not have mental issues.

I believe its only possible with supplementation because i spent 2 years eating well and still had many mental problems until i began supplementing with Pharmaceutical grad vitamins and amino acids. I a neurotransmitter test first and i don't recommend supplementing without it because you wont be able to get it right.

If you do want to try a amino acid just to get some short term relief try Taurine + B vitamin complex it should help you alot add L-theanine at night for sleep. L-theanine cost more then taurine, you can get taurine for like 6$ go to a health food store.

Fresh · #4 02-16-2010, 10:43 PM

Hard to know how you are doing after 60 days. I've noticed people post once or twice and poof there gone.

If you are still clean, you must be feeling much better. Usually, for me, after three months off opiates (other than methadone) I felt much better mentally.

I think it is important to note that opiates are one of the best antidepressant drugs ever to bless our presence. So it takes a longer time to sort out the mental withdrawal. Opiates do have there place on this earth.

L-Phenyalanine helps replace the lack of endorphins and L-Tryptophan also helps with sleep (usually good with melatonin and valerian).

I hope we hear from you again, so we know of your progress. There is no shame in trying and trying and trying.

I can tell, in how long it took anyone to reply to your post, why you might have gone somewhere else for support. You sounded desperate on 12/19, however finally someone heard your cry on 12/31.

I hope you are doing well.

I feel this site is fairly new, but I can see its potential to support and comfort those who have never gone through withdrawals. It does get better day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

only1kcmarie · #5 03-21-2010, 01:05 PM

I think everyone who is addicted to pain pills starts with an injury. I Personally tried to quit cold turkey but couldnt do it, after 2 weeks of misery i got high. I am now and have been on suboxone for 1 and 1/2 yrs. If you have a good support system and do meetings can also help! You have to find what works for you. I am here if you need me!